it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
