You can't motorboat a personality
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
