I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
