there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
