Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
