only if we run a train.
done.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
