Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
