scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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