bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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