bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
