I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
