Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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