I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
