i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
