remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
