girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
