I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
