someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I didn't notice because vodka
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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