Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
