dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
if only i could text you this smell
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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