He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
