After last night, I could never be a politician.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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