It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Randomize
