the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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