For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
