Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
