I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
