Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
