Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
