Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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