you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
