still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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