He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
