I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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