i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Mom said you looked used
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
