I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
