I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
