is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
