I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
