It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
