Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
