She is in my trunk
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
