There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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