How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
