I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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