Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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