So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
