My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i've created a new STD.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
