I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
