What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
