I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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